Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
