The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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