Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.