Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
