there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos