We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.