drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
