our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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