it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
