fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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