There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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