Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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