and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
