Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
