walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
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He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
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I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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