You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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