You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize