My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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