good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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