dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's rum buckets o'clock
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize