38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
