btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
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I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
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I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize