just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
