I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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