I'm eating all of the evidence.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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