let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
