VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
