Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
