at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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