Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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