think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
