Do you still have your period?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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