I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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