Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
