You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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