I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
