you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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