Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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