They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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