You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
