Pants 0. Shit 1.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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