I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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