It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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