i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
