Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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