super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
