This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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