i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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