You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
