My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
