haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
