I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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