is wine microwaveable?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You are the jesus of drinking
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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