I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
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She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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