He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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