Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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