im gay
i know
yea but for you.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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