I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
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Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
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Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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