u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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