Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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