idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
