I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
