Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
