Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
