Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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