arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
